Aren't BT great?!

I have a BT Homehub.
I am a p2p filesharer.
I am a gamer.

BT's 'Option 3' package offers 'Unlimited*' downloading. This is very important for someone of my capacity.
Since I joined BT, 7 months ago, I have had the worst connection speeds, connection drops and Strict NAT on Xbox Live.

Yesterday I decided enough was enough.

Here are some of the highlights.

Firstly, don't bother with finding your BT account number or telephone number (if you're like me and don't use it so can never remember), just rummage around for 2mins and they'll just ask your name!

Here are some of the highlights of the first conversation...

BT: 'What operating system are you using?'
Me: 'A Mac using OSX 10.4 Leopard'
BT: 'So thats wireless yeah?'
Me: '....yes'

BT: *long pause*
Me: What does it say on your troubleshoot sheet?
BT: 'It says...*long pause*'
a
BT: 'Ok, we are going to test you line'
Me: 'Ooookay'
BT: 'Are you off the phone?'
Me: 'No I'm talking to you...'
BT: 'Ok are you off the Broadband?'
Me: 'The browsers open'
BT: 'OK close that, it will stop the internet from coming through'

Me: 'Why are you testing my line when we know it's because you are throttling it?'
BT: 'Because...*rustle of paper and mumbling*....'

Me: 'How long until you call me back'
BT: *reads out my phone number*
Me: 'Yes I know that's my number. How long until you call me back?'
BT: 'We are going to test the line'
Me: 'Yes but how long....until you call me back?'
BT: 'About 15-20mins then immediately...'

She did call me back in 15-20mins...then immediately!
Also on my landline which she said she wasn't going to call....

Here are some highlights from our second conversation...

Me: 'Ben Cordell speaking'
BT: 'Hello is this Ben?'
Me: 'Mmmmyes'

BT: 'The line test is complete and you have exceeded your download useage'
Me: 'But I'm paying for unlimited download...because I know I use it a lot'
BT: 'Yes but it is exceeded'
Me: 'How can you exceed unlimited?'
BT: *Rustle of paper*

BT: 'I am going to transfer you through to a specialist team'
Me: 'Ok...'
BT: 'Please hold...'
*HOLD FOR 2 MINS*
English BT Man: 'Hello Mr Cudell?' (yes...Cudell...)
Me: 'Speaking'
English BT Man: 'I believe you are having some trouble with your internet speeds'
Me: 'I am'
English BT Man: 'Ok what we're....*CLICK*

I GOT HUNG UP ON!

After 5 minutes, I decide to call them back.

After speaking to a much more well spoken (and apologetic) Middle Eastern man who asked me the SAME BLOODY QUESTIONS, I eventually got transferred back to the 'Fair Useage' team (the English BT Man)

CUE 10 MINS OF LIGHT GUITAR JAZZ WITH THE ODD DIAL TONE

*Middle Eastern BT man tries to explain that I've exceeded my download useage. Again, I lay down the philosophical line 'How can you exceed unlimited?'*

CUE 8 MINS OF LIGHT GUITAR JAZZ WITH THE ODD DIAL TONE

*More debate over how offering a restricted speed when I have gone over my 'unlimited download useage' occurs with me stating that I am not paying for a restricted 'unlimited' service*

Me: '...how can I exceed the unlimited? Restriction of any sort is not unlimited'
BT Man: 'Sorry I'm just a man with a sheet. I will transfer you to *mumblemumble*"

GOT YOU TO ADMIT YOU'RE A TROUBLESHOOT FOOL!

CUE 3 MINS OF LIGHT GUITAR JAZZ WITH THE ODD DIAL TONE

*Transferred through to nice British man who reads me lots about the 'Fair Use' policy (they get complainst about this so much they dedicated a frigging department to it!) and basicaly says that although it says unlimited, policy permits that they restrict the speed of anyone who exceeeds their fair useage.

Also explains that the restriction is why I get strict NAT on Live.

Says that they have lifted the 30 day restriction so I should get decent speeds.

I ask where I can cancel my account...*

1hr20mins....4 operators....5 phone calls....BT....you fucking suck!